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anuranTrain Simulator was on Steam for £2.49, so I bought it, mainly because it has a DLC called Zombies vs Trains.
LET'S GO DRIVE TRAINS
I fire up the tutorials, because you have to learn the rules before you can kick back and have fun. The levels (routes?) take an age to load, but golly are they thrilling. I learn how to move the train forwards. Then backwards. Then stop, and let people on. Then go.
The next tutorial, I learn about refuelling and points. See? Thrilling. I also go on wikipedia on my phone while waiting for it to load and learn that the test track is based on the real Wegberg-Wildenrath test track in Germany. One of the main selling points of trainsims is the realism (I guess same is true for Flight Sims, but all I ever managed in MS FlightSim was crashing into things) so GOLLY GOSH I cannot wait to try out the Glasgow-Edinburgh line, and make it sit in the tunnel outside Waverly for 43 minutes.
Anyway. The last tutorial is the first real mission, in Pennsylvania, I have to drive a freight train from somewhere in Pennsylvania to somewhere else, in Pennsylvania.
A man called Jim or something "welcomes" me aboard by telling me that he's going to show me the ropes, but he's not my goddamn mother and if I can't already drive a diesel, I should just get the hell out. Or something. Also he's going to point out the lovely scenery.
Jim also has an issue with exclamation marks. I don't think he really understands them.
It's on a slope!
There's a lot of doing fuck all in this game. It seems to mostly revolve around slightly nudging the levers to make sure you don't break the speed limit (controls aren't showing on the screenshots). Jim occasionally points out local sights, such as a mountain, and a horseshoe curve that was built in 1954! Folks come up here at night to see the spectacle! You can see some reservoirs below!
More driving. Are we there yet? One of the most annoying things about this game is that everytime you pass a tree, you can hear a Chiffchaff. Which, this being me, meant I kept pausing to try and hear if it was in the game or outside my window, then I just got stuck wondering if you even get chiffchaffs in America. This may not be an issue for everyone who plays this game. Are we there yet?
Jim's telling me that one day I might end up on the high speed passenger routes, but he's saying it in a really condescending tone of voice.
There's also a whole heap of camera angles, presumably so you have something to mess around with while travelling 26 miles in real time to a switching yard at 14.7mph.
I'm sure anyone else who got to this point in the game would put the throttle on full and try to cause a massive smash, but sadly I am incapable of doing something like that. Mainly because then I'd feel obliged to go back and start again. And Jim would probably say something really mean! With an unnecessary exclamation point!
Look at the drivers face. Help me, he's saying. Are we there yet?
Oh! Finished. At last. We hadn't even got anywhere specifically, it just announced I'd finished. Also, I can't believe I played that for 40 minutes. Admittedly some of that was letting the cat in, making a cup of tea, and playing trainyard on my phone.
Onto the actual scenarios. I pick - of course - one called Taking Coals To Newcastle! See what they've done there? Lol.
I have to pick up a load of coals from a staithe and drop it off at Newcastle. My first thought is that this is a steam scenario, because I thought staithes were what they used in the 1800s to load coal onto the keelboats, then onto big wooden ships. But no, we're on an BR train so, I dunno, late 70s? Early 80s? What a fun time that was to work in the UK coal industry.
Ever wanted to see the inside of a BR Diesel Locomotive? Me neither.
I think that's some tab ends in the far corner.
Also, the other exciting (!) thing about this view is all the buttons and levers in the cab work. Here, I've switched the windscreen wipers on and have no idea how to switch them off again. and YES YOU CAN TOOT THE HORN!! It's just gone 720am so I toot the horn lots to make sure no-one on Tyneside is late for work.
Pretty scenery, but there's another 17 miles to go and I'm already VERY BORED ARE WE THERE YET
Bored now, so onto something else. "Free run" in, where else, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Let's see how well they've done this:
That is unmistakeably the Central Station! Let's take an Intercity 125 out for a spin.
That puts the Newcastle scenario in at the late 1970s as you can see them building the QE2 Metro Bridge (the yellow crane, like you care). Let's have another look at the Newcastle Central Station from the other side, the side which normally has all the trainspotters:
There's something missing... something missing.. what is it.. oh I'm sure it's not important for the Newcastle Scenario..
SUMMARY: About as exciting as the 0820 Aberdeen-Penzance train in standard class (Britain's longest single train journey; 13.5hrs, £230). Are we there yet? Also you don't get Chiffchaffs in North America! So much for the alleged "realism"!
LET'S GO DRIVE TRAINS
I fire up the tutorials, because you have to learn the rules before you can kick back and have fun. The levels (routes?) take an age to load, but golly are they thrilling. I learn how to move the train forwards. Then backwards. Then stop, and let people on. Then go.
The next tutorial, I learn about refuelling and points. See? Thrilling. I also go on wikipedia on my phone while waiting for it to load and learn that the test track is based on the real Wegberg-Wildenrath test track in Germany. One of the main selling points of trainsims is the realism (I guess same is true for Flight Sims, but all I ever managed in MS FlightSim was crashing into things) so GOLLY GOSH I cannot wait to try out the Glasgow-Edinburgh line, and make it sit in the tunnel outside Waverly for 43 minutes.
Anyway. The last tutorial is the first real mission, in Pennsylvania, I have to drive a freight train from somewhere in Pennsylvania to somewhere else, in Pennsylvania.
A man called Jim or something "welcomes" me aboard by telling me that he's going to show me the ropes, but he's not my goddamn mother and if I can't already drive a diesel, I should just get the hell out. Or something. Also he's going to point out the lovely scenery.
Jim also has an issue with exclamation marks. I don't think he really understands them.
It's on a slope!
There's a lot of doing fuck all in this game. It seems to mostly revolve around slightly nudging the levers to make sure you don't break the speed limit (controls aren't showing on the screenshots). Jim occasionally points out local sights, such as a mountain, and a horseshoe curve that was built in 1954! Folks come up here at night to see the spectacle! You can see some reservoirs below!
More driving. Are we there yet? One of the most annoying things about this game is that everytime you pass a tree, you can hear a Chiffchaff. Which, this being me, meant I kept pausing to try and hear if it was in the game or outside my window, then I just got stuck wondering if you even get chiffchaffs in America. This may not be an issue for everyone who plays this game. Are we there yet?
Jim's telling me that one day I might end up on the high speed passenger routes, but he's saying it in a really condescending tone of voice.
There's also a whole heap of camera angles, presumably so you have something to mess around with while travelling 26 miles in real time to a switching yard at 14.7mph.
I'm sure anyone else who got to this point in the game would put the throttle on full and try to cause a massive smash, but sadly I am incapable of doing something like that. Mainly because then I'd feel obliged to go back and start again. And Jim would probably say something really mean! With an unnecessary exclamation point!
Look at the drivers face. Help me, he's saying. Are we there yet?
Oh! Finished. At last. We hadn't even got anywhere specifically, it just announced I'd finished. Also, I can't believe I played that for 40 minutes. Admittedly some of that was letting the cat in, making a cup of tea, and playing trainyard on my phone.
Onto the actual scenarios. I pick - of course - one called Taking Coals To Newcastle! See what they've done there? Lol.
I have to pick up a load of coals from a staithe and drop it off at Newcastle. My first thought is that this is a steam scenario, because I thought staithes were what they used in the 1800s to load coal onto the keelboats, then onto big wooden ships. But no, we're on an BR train so, I dunno, late 70s? Early 80s? What a fun time that was to work in the UK coal industry.
Ever wanted to see the inside of a BR Diesel Locomotive? Me neither.
I think that's some tab ends in the far corner.
Also, the other exciting (!) thing about this view is all the buttons and levers in the cab work. Here, I've switched the windscreen wipers on and have no idea how to switch them off again. and YES YOU CAN TOOT THE HORN!! It's just gone 720am so I toot the horn lots to make sure no-one on Tyneside is late for work.
Pretty scenery, but there's another 17 miles to go and I'm already VERY BORED ARE WE THERE YET
Bored now, so onto something else. "Free run" in, where else, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Let's see how well they've done this:
That is unmistakeably the Central Station! Let's take an Intercity 125 out for a spin.
That puts the Newcastle scenario in at the late 1970s as you can see them building the QE2 Metro Bridge (the yellow crane, like you care). Let's have another look at the Newcastle Central Station from the other side, the side which normally has all the trainspotters:
There's something missing... something missing.. what is it.. oh I'm sure it's not important for the Newcastle Scenario..
SUMMARY: About as exciting as the 0820 Aberdeen-Penzance train in standard class (Britain's longest single train journey; 13.5hrs, £230). Are we there yet? Also you don't get Chiffchaffs in North America! So much for the alleged "realism"!
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Date: 2012-07-20 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2012-07-23 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-20 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 07:42 am (UTC)edinburgh trams were tested on that test track.
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Date: 2012-07-21 08:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 12:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 07:57 am (UTC)Edith
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Date: 2012-07-21 09:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 10:53 pm (UTC)