Do you live in a rural area?

Well do you? Here's some easy questions. If you can answer yes to many/all/one of them, chances are you live in The Countryside.

1. Do you know exactly where your nearest non-zoo based llama/alpaca is, yet struggle to find a post office?
2. Do you regularly have raging arguments with yourself about wind turbines?
3. Do old people with walking sticks often knock at your door and ask to walk through your back garden?
4. Is one of the locals at your local pub nicknamed "The Lordship" because he is, in fact, a Lord?
5. And is he not only your landlord, but everyone else's too?
6. Do you regularly eat pheasant because it is both cheaper than chicken and easier to catch?
7. Is the bus timetable at your nearest bus stop a laminated computer print-out from the Royal Mail website?
8. Do you even register someone wearing plus-fours?
9. Do you think having an off-road vehicle for the school run is actually quite sensible?
10. Do you ever consider buying "a bit more land"?
11. ...so you can grow produce for the local show next year?
12. If you rent your home, does the lease include a clause forcing you to help out at lambing time?
13. Do you worry about the state of the local market cross?
14. Do you know what SFPS stands for?


(all based on recent experience, sure I'll think of more when I actually move out of this town and into a hillside shack. Further suggestions from actual country dwellers greatfully received.)