I don't like cricket. I love it

(it's a song lyric)

1. Sledges. Slagging off between the teams, e.g.:

McGrath (bowler): "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?"
Brandes (batsman): "Cos every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit"

Warne (bowling): "I've been waiting two years to humiliate you"
Cullinan (batting): "Looks like you spent it eating"

2. Working in a pub where any Scot who follows cricket supports England. They just do. It's wonderful; a sport so - astonishingly - devoid of nationalistic, jingoistic, bitter, jealous bullshit. Therefore, any Scotsperson who doesn't follow cricket and can't cope with anything more complex than the footy stands out a mile. Hence, watching today's Ashes (aaargh, so close and so far), most of the pub (apart from ozzie barman) were cheering on the home side - England. When England dropped a ball and I made some sort of "Oh!" noise, two men at the bar shouted "OH GOD, you're not supporting ENGLAND, are you? Why? You fucking English? You wanna fuck off back home?" at which point every other scottish person in the pub took my side and said things like "OH SHHH" "FUCK OFF" "IT'S NOT FUCKING FOOTY YE KNA" "GOD!"

HOO BLOODY RAY. I love cricket.

Ozzie barman also told me of a discussion between him and some kiwis; discussing the best moment of Australia Vs New Zealand Cricket. Apparently, back in the 80s, New Zealand needed a 4 to win off two balls. So the Australian rolled both of them underarm along the ground, at about 3mph. hehehe.