anuran: (tank)
I was just reading Wikipedia's entry on the Marvel Comic's Civil war thingy, as you do, when I noticed Ms Marvel's Superhuman Registration Card, which looks like this:



Ha, thinks me, I wonder what 124lbs is in Real Money(tm). According to Google, it's 8.85714286 stone, or 56.2454539 kilogrammes. Which made me say "HA!" even louder because when I was home on Tuesday, I weighed myself for the first time in blimmin' ages, and that's not far off what I now weigh. Not far at all (and, fact fans, approaching a healthy weight for my height!) - I weigh the same as Ms Marvel! That's ace. I wonder if we're the same height.

Five foot eleven - I don't think I'm 5'11", which is 1.8034m. I'm about 1.73m. So Ms Marvel weighs about the same as me, but has an extra couple of inches. This is when I start to get suspicious - My BMI is 18, which is low, but Ms Marvel, I calculate, is 17.3 - which is just dodgy, if you think about it, as I shall prove by a comparison of the following images:

Here is Ms Marvel:


And here is me:

(how pretty)

OK, can you spot the differences? That was a rhetorical question. No way does that woman have a lower BMI than me! I don't mean that in a bitchy way, I mean it in a "look, it's blindingly obvious! she has healthy curves!" sort of way.

There's only one explanation - back to the ID card: one of her skills is listed as "flying." So, clearly, when she went to register, she must have used her power of flight to hover ever-so-slightly on the scales, so her weight was altered by a believable amount. I bet. Lying bint. Nice hair though.

CHRIST I DON'T EVEN READ COMIC BOOKS see what the internet has done to me. I bet this whole issue has already been covered in depth by loads of geeky fan-fiction. Who the sod is Ms Marvel anyway? gaah.

Also, wtf? it has eye colour on your superhuman registration card? because if you have super human powers it renders you incapable of using coloured contact lenses? that's mad.

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anuran

March 2016

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